sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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