I wanna bring you to show and tell
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
