I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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