Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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