...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
