would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
