How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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