ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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