I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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