Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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