he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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