I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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