my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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