When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
