it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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