there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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