her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
