I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
PANTIES FOUND
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
