I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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