I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
