you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
