I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
