party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
