I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
