You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
