is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
