Welp...herpes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
