Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
