Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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