sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
