dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
