how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
