I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
