what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
