Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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