Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
