This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
