she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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