were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
