Yo dont text me then not text me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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