I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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