bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
