Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
