you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
