My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My dick has a subreddit
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
