I'm eating all of the evidence.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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