You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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