i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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