we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
