yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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