I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
